I hate birthdays because even when you try so hard not to have expectations for or about them you always manage some how to have them and then they manage to remain horribly unmet.

That is what I'm feeling right now.

Its been about a year since I even thought about this blog on my own. Life has been so busy and other things took priority for me.

I guess that I'm coming back to it because even though people know who it is that writes this blog there is a sense of anonymity that comes with expressing oneself on a blog. It feels ok to pound out thoughts and feelings while I sit on this side of the computer screen, behind my red curtains and inside these tiny walls.

I'm sitting in my little apartment with a delicious candle burning (to try and hide the smell of pancakes and bacon that I made for someone this morning) and all wrapped up in my ecu blanket. I guess both are attempts at blocking the real world out- the smell and the cold. Neither is really working.

I feel tired and like every time I let myself trust someone that it just ends up back-firing.

I cant believe that 2 years have almost passed since I moved to the Island. Its gone so quickly and so much has happened.

I think quite frequently about how much I've learned and how much I know now compared to when I first started into the program (LPN) and it boggles my MIND!
I have only 7 more weeks in total before I'm done and write the national exam. 2 of those weeks are clinical/classroom(presentation and 2 finals) and the rest of them are clinical integration. I'll be working on a convalescent care unit here in town. I spent 7 weeks there last year too, but this time I'll not be doing class time or any assignments to go with it- it'll be working full time.

I've decided to stay on the Island after I graduate. For now atleast. I already have my foot in the door a bit here with all of the clinical time that I've done so that'll help a bit and then if I do choose to go back home afterwards I'll have some experience to go with my resume.

Until then I'll be studying my tail off. Lots of information to pack into my brain before the next step happens. Lots of decisions too.

On a completely different note, Alli agreed to come to Ecuador with me in May! I'm excited. It'll be my first time back since 2009 and my first time there ever just to hang out and travel and visit with people. Lots of planning to do there. I'm so looking forward to it.

**the pic at the top is graffiti that is done at York Redoubt in NS. Nath and I went exploring last week when I was home- there are a few other pics too but I'll not put them up today.
I think this ones beautiful- its just a splash of color that I need today.

The People You'll Meet:

I went out for drinks with my friend Becca tonight and they were great. Check out the Gahan House if you're in Charlottetown. Its got cool decorating and a really neat atmosphere.

Heres a thing you may or may not know about me. I like meeting random people. You can learn incredible things, be it about a person's life, or just about life in general, in a really short time span when fall into a conversation with a complete stranger.
I love meeting a child from the other side of the planet that comes into the shop while I'm working, or the elderly gentleman who is at a fútbol game cheering for his grandson or the guy that we met tonight. He's a travel writer- he's done stuff for OLN, National Geographic and some other cool things. He's in town doing a promo video for PEI tourism. Check him out, his name is Robin Esrock. He has one of my dream jobs.

and then we get the bill and 2 great things happened:

1. the drinks were cheaper than I had anticipated. (ALWAYS a good surprise)

2. a minute later the waiter came back over and took them away from us and gave them to the table of old, deep south, American men behind us, who then paid for them! (always a GREAT surprise!)

thank goodness for work in the morning for an excuse as to why I couldn't continue on their pub crawl with them. :)

**I also ran into a person that I know while I was out! That happens very rarely when you are living in a place not your native land.

Epic blogging fail. I know.
I could tell you that since exams finished I've been over the top busy.... but we all know that would be a lie. Not a complete one, but close enough. I've just not really had anything that I wanted to post to the world on the internet. So I kept my fingers out of the blogging world.

As soon as I could after exams(all of which I did pass with good marks, thankfully) finished I headed home to Hali to see my fam- Mom and Dad were living it up in Mexico, so the 4 of us had lots of time together to get into whatever trouble we could come up with...
Some of the events included:
- alli nearly lighting our neighbor on fire while he was trying to fix our bbq for us.
- nathan walking around with his bare bottom hanging out of his shorts half of the time
- alli and i buzzing nath's hair while emily looked on, laughing as he angrily sat through it
- and finally, we made a trip to my favorite location in NS and so here are some pics!

Alli, Emily, Nathan















Nate.

One night we were all sitting at supper and Nath was telling me a story about something, and I looked at him and it was so strange. It was the Nathan voice that I have become used to, but it wasn't the Nathan face that I knew. It was a grown up face instead of the little boy that he still is in my head (or that he's supposed to be, according to my head). He was slightly offended when I asked him to stop talking for a minute so that I could wrap my mind around it.

we were peeking in the pond to find the little peeper frogs that were yelling at us. (Em and Nate)

I think that I could go to Peggy's Cove every evening and never become bored of or used to the beauty that makes me stop every time I look at it. Pictures just dont do it justice (although I do LOVE this one!). Peggys Cove, NS.

There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Finals Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and I'm done for the summer! It'll be strange, and I probably wont know what to do with myself for a couple of weeks. But YAY! First year is almost done.

Cars, Coldplay, and other Updates

I just thought I'd update on a few things that I've mentioned in previous posts or things that are going on in mi vida(since I have been horrible about posting lately- sorry):


-Alli and her bf, Jeff, came to visit me a couple weekends ago. It was SO nice to have them, especially since they came at a time when I was really needing some familiar-to-my-life people. They went up about 75 levels on my favorite people list. Theres just something so great about having people tell you they love you by jumping head first into your world for a few days.
(a special shout out goes to Jeff, who is planting miniature evergreens in the rural areas of British Columbia right now).

-Remember when I said that I wanted to try to get back into running? well. it took me a REALLY long time, but finally I have got myself out, with my feet smacking the pavement again.
I have IT band syndrome, often when I run it doesnt last too long because my knee gets so sore that I look like I have a serious leg-length difference. I've been doing stretching for it, and Good News!! It hasnt been paining me so much, and also when it finally does start to hurt, its not until about 30 minutes into my run instead of 10.. :).
This week has been a bit of a write-off because of finals and its cold out. But hopefully soon I can get those runs to be a regular part of my weekly (and dare I dream to say daily?) routine.
I find that I feel so much better when that good exercise is fit in my schedule- its a good stress reliever too. Usually I do part of my run on the boardwalk in time to catch some sunset.

- FINALS are coming up in a week!!!!!! 5 more days of regular class time(presentations, final classes, and reviews).
It is unreal how quickly the past 9 months have gone. I feel like I have learned a whole new language in that time. I've made new friends, I've lived by myself(and cooked and YES I'm still alive.. maybe a bit.... mas gordita.... than 9 months ago even). I have read more school related text in these 9 months than I did in all of my 14.5 previous years of education combined. I would say that I'm a pretty good page scanner now.
Hopefully when I'm done I'll get to spend some time in Halifax.. a week would be nice. Who knows if it'll fo realz happen.

- CAR!!!! I FORGOT!!!
First of all, I'd like to say that my Mother is a queen.
Mom and I have been scouring kijiji relentlessly for the past few months, looking for a little car that was in good fairly good shape, while still being affordable. My goodness was that a slow process. I dont know how many ads I've looked at- the number is high.
Mom found one in FR for sale that seemed pretty good, and after test driving it on the Hfx pier yesterday she met with him again to get this little mini car checked out by a mechanic before making an offer. Its exciting.... first car. I probably wont use it in town much, I walk mostly everywhere and I like it, but it'll be so great for doing groceries and having (access to) a vehicle is require for my program next year. Also it'll be great for weekends like this one where I'm just itching to get home.
Does this make me a real grown up?

- A while ago I said I was going to try to do some sort of daily posts....
I knowwww. I failed at that. And now looking back, I recognize that that was a silly thing to say because who am I kidding? I've never been a great or frequent blogger. And now especially with summer coming, it would be especially futile. Sorry for lying folks.

Ok. peace to you. I'm outta here. my feet are cold and I need to tidy up my flat before someone(a HALIBODY- yay!) stops by.

**Coldplay: Viva la Vida or Death and all His friends- I know its not particularly new. but I have been really enjoying it this week. Check out their sweet Strawberry Swing vid Here!

Ineffective coping methods r/t....

Do you ever feel like you're doing a really bad job of coping?

I've been looking at myself lately, and I really dont know that I am dealing with some things well.

Not that I'm dealing HORRIBLY, but just not the best that I could be. But heres the thing:
I am so tired out that I dont feel like I have the energy to do it better. How does one beat that?

This past week has been crazy-busy with clinical, with studying and trying to get a few different assignments done, with car searching, and decision making.

Some people deal with stress by hitting it straight on. Sometimes that works for me too. This week I'm just wanting an old time friend to show up at my door and to tell me what to do. (or in the case of my tests, just to write them for me :) ).

On a completely different note: I'm going to try to start running again! I miss it, and hopefully my knees will be kind to me!!! Its starting to get nice out. We'll see how it goes.