"There are no tricks. Run because you have to. RUN BECAUSE YOU LOVE IT. Run because you want to be fast. Run because you want to be skinny. Run to find some quiet time. Run to sweat. Run to eat. Run to hear your heart pound in your ears. Run because you're a runner. Run because you gotta keep the streak. RUN BECAUSE YOUR DONT KNOW WHY THE HELL YOU'RE RUNNING. Run because you fought with your partner. Run because your job is shitty. Run because you got no money. Run for the sunrise. Run for a race. Run because it's impossible. Run because it's easy. Run instead of doing the laundry. Run instead of watching TV. RUN BECAUSE NOONE ELSE UNDERSTANDS. Run because the cool kids do it. Run because you're tired of talking. Run for numbers. Run for feel. Run to prove something. Run because it hurts. Or don't run. If you got something better to do." JEFF EDMONDS

I'm getting back into running. For realz this time. I saw this quote on a t-shirt on a website. I love it. 

Cada persona...

I saw this online today and I liked it. I thought I'd share.


This week I'm going to be moving! Into a little apartment with bright yellow walls and windows that the sun shines in all day long.

I am sad to be leaving this place that I've called home for the past year and a half- I'll miss the company and my bright beautiful kitchen and the sunsets out the window. Its a change that has to happen right now though.

Heres to hoping that it goes well! Its going to be a busy week.

The songs that play in my head

Does it ever happen to you that in a certain time of your life, when one event or another be it good or bad, dramatic or not-so-much, certain songs seem to play on repeat in your head?

I hope so. Because it happens to me A LOT. And lately I've had a few songs that keep on comin' back.

The first one is Stronger by Kelly Clarkson (although I would have to disagree with her line saying "You know the bed feels warmer sleeping here alone"- that is definitely not true.

The other is Survive by Aretha Franklin. For obvious reasons. 

I feel sooo girly having those songs in my head all the time. But atleast they're not sappy songs! And I think they're signs that I'm going to survive this break up one way or another. :P :)

Its nice being home with my famjam this week. Sleepovers with sisters, breakfast dates with friends, and shoe shopping and long conversations with your mom can be so therapeutic!

What songs have  been running through your head lately?

Home

I have been thinking a lot about what is love and where is my home. I heard this song a while ago and forgot how much I love it.

Not to sounds cheesy, but heartache really does make you put things into perspective. I know what I WANT my home to be. I dont ever want it to be solidly in one place. To me home is where my heart is... where my family is- be that my true friends or the family that  I'm actually blood related to (the ones that make you nuts sometimes... who you maybe dont like all the time but still LOVE at the end of the day). Home is where I feel safe and loved and valued.
My home is changing right now. The apartment where I'm living right now doesnt feel like home anymore, but I so want it to.

I have been faced with the hardest decisions and thoughts of my life in the past 3 weeks.
I am going to stick out the challenges here. It is SO hard. I'm definitely going to squeeze in some time in my other home (Hali) to get some loving from my famjam and to get "pampered" as my dad puts it, but as hard as I'm finding life here right now, it is my home for the time being. What doesn't kill ya makes you stronger, right Kelly Clarkson? She said yes. and flexed her muscles.

Its been interesting too, to see how people have been coming in beside me to support me in this trying time. Its cool. I want to be like that for other people too, no matter where my home is.

** the song above is originally by Gabrielle Aplin, but I found this one tonight and am really diggin' it. :) disfrutala

I hate birthdays because even when you try so hard not to have expectations for or about them you always manage some how to have them and then they manage to remain horribly unmet.

That is what I'm feeling right now.

Its been about a year since I even thought about this blog on my own. Life has been so busy and other things took priority for me.

I guess that I'm coming back to it because even though people know who it is that writes this blog there is a sense of anonymity that comes with expressing oneself on a blog. It feels ok to pound out thoughts and feelings while I sit on this side of the computer screen, behind my red curtains and inside these tiny walls.

I'm sitting in my little apartment with a delicious candle burning (to try and hide the smell of pancakes and bacon that I made for someone this morning) and all wrapped up in my ecu blanket. I guess both are attempts at blocking the real world out- the smell and the cold. Neither is really working.

I feel tired and like every time I let myself trust someone that it just ends up back-firing.

I cant believe that 2 years have almost passed since I moved to the Island. Its gone so quickly and so much has happened.

I think quite frequently about how much I've learned and how much I know now compared to when I first started into the program (LPN) and it boggles my MIND!
I have only 7 more weeks in total before I'm done and write the national exam. 2 of those weeks are clinical/classroom(presentation and 2 finals) and the rest of them are clinical integration. I'll be working on a convalescent care unit here in town. I spent 7 weeks there last year too, but this time I'll not be doing class time or any assignments to go with it- it'll be working full time.

I've decided to stay on the Island after I graduate. For now atleast. I already have my foot in the door a bit here with all of the clinical time that I've done so that'll help a bit and then if I do choose to go back home afterwards I'll have some experience to go with my resume.

Until then I'll be studying my tail off. Lots of information to pack into my brain before the next step happens. Lots of decisions too.

On a completely different note, Alli agreed to come to Ecuador with me in May! I'm excited. It'll be my first time back since 2009 and my first time there ever just to hang out and travel and visit with people. Lots of planning to do there. I'm so looking forward to it.

**the pic at the top is graffiti that is done at York Redoubt in NS. Nath and I went exploring last week when I was home- there are a few other pics too but I'll not put them up today.
I think this ones beautiful- its just a splash of color that I need today.

The People You'll Meet:

I went out for drinks with my friend Becca tonight and they were great. Check out the Gahan House if you're in Charlottetown. Its got cool decorating and a really neat atmosphere.

Heres a thing you may or may not know about me. I like meeting random people. You can learn incredible things, be it about a person's life, or just about life in general, in a really short time span when fall into a conversation with a complete stranger.
I love meeting a child from the other side of the planet that comes into the shop while I'm working, or the elderly gentleman who is at a fútbol game cheering for his grandson or the guy that we met tonight. He's a travel writer- he's done stuff for OLN, National Geographic and some other cool things. He's in town doing a promo video for PEI tourism. Check him out, his name is Robin Esrock. He has one of my dream jobs.

and then we get the bill and 2 great things happened:

1. the drinks were cheaper than I had anticipated. (ALWAYS a good surprise)

2. a minute later the waiter came back over and took them away from us and gave them to the table of old, deep south, American men behind us, who then paid for them! (always a GREAT surprise!)

thank goodness for work in the morning for an excuse as to why I couldn't continue on their pub crawl with them. :)

**I also ran into a person that I know while I was out! That happens very rarely when you are living in a place not your native land.